Pain...

So He started dating, worse yet its with one of my friends that he had to lie about and hid from me. This girl had the nerve to say she wants to get closer to me, since she's gonna be in our life...By Our I mean Mine and Adrianna's...................Oh I flipped out. It wouldv'e been differnt if they wouldn't of snook around, and would've had some respect and came to me first. Its not that they needed my permission, Just out of respect, She knows how I feel about trevor and how things are with us. Of course it hurt me, But what hurts the most is he is taking our kid around her kid after 3 days of knowing eachother. Bullshit! Its like everything is crashing in around me... Like God has something against me, I know I'm not perfect, I know I make and have made mistakes, But I deserve happiness. I deserve to be loved, I deserve for something to go right for me. I just feel like such a failure for my daughter, Like I cant do it. If it weren't for her I wouldnt be writting this. I have never cried more, nver beeen so afraid of tomorrow. But seing her face makes it easier, makes it all alittle less lonely.

Time for an update...

So. Wow Its been along time since I have done anything with my Blog, I always feel so busy and no time to just sit down and put everything into words...Well perhaps if I do put it all into words I will breakdown and cry. But I'm still Single Mom, I live with MY Bestie Randi Bezzant, and my daughter 3-4 days out of the week. I recently quit my job and I am starting to work on the phones again. Not the greatest but its gonna cut down on daycare and save me money which i really need right now haaha. I haven't really put myself out there as far as Meeting new guys, Its weird. Men see baby, and they think one of two things, Run for your life, or ohhh She's easy. So its really unfair I think, But life is unfair. And I still dont think I'm ready for a new relationship. I dont want to be with him, But I still have to get over him and heal from all the damage he has caused and I have caused myself. Adrianna is now 15months old and is a terror and wonder! She walks and talks all over the place and has this awesome bratty attitude ahahaha, Its been so amazing to be a Mom, Hard as hell but really fun. She makes me laugh on an hourly basis. She can carry full on conversations with no body, and its so funny~! Well I'll live to vent another day.....

Speechless!

So the Word of the day for me is Single.... Yes single and loving it. So all the stuff I said earlier is out the window, We werent meant to be together, we made a beautiful child but happiness and together are not two words that belong with us. So I'm a Single Mom and its really weird sometimes but so amazing at the same time. I love the freedom and independence, and to celebrate that freedom and independence I got a new tattoo! It hurt like a son of a bitch but so does love so its all even. I'm venturing into something that is probably not going to be easy but thats okay its all apart of growing up. I'm pretty excited to find a love that I can agree with and not settle for as well! so here is to Single Moms everywhere and our incredible strength and bravery to do what is good and right!

Grrrrrrr

So as of lately I've been feeling really stressed. Stressed about everything, life, love, work, work, my living situation. Its so frusterating when you know that you work so hard for things and you never get things, no home, no life, just work and stress. I know I shouldn't be complaing because I do have a roof over my head, and a good family. But I'm 22 almost 23 and still living with parents, not mine but still. its hard when your a person that loves space and privacy to be trapped all the time, have no way to get away. I'm not an angry person but I just love my space! I love being able to wrap myself in a novel or a movie or write and dont have the space to do so. Ok ok so I have the best little girl in the world who makes me laugh all day but everyone needs there own time! I dont know I just want to ramble on when really I dont have much to ramble about so its all good! I love my family, and my job and I love everyone. I'm just a frusterated Mommy trying to blow off some steam!!!

The Twilight Phenom....

Okay so I admit I am totally sucked into this Twilight thing that is taking over the world hahaaha. I've read all the books and I have even read the one that leaked onto the Internet, the one thats in Edwards thoughs(its marvelous) I find myself daydreaming of becoming a vampire.. they make it look so sexy!! I'm a total Nerd I'm not ashamed it!! I cant wait at all for the Movie to come out November 21st cant come soon enough!!! hahaha is anyone else out there as big of nerd about as I am???

Sshhh careful its my time time...

Okay wow, so I just want to say Hi and this is the first time I have ever blogged.... I guess I should start out with a little about my life as it is now...

Well as of November 12,2007 I became a mom! I had a little girl named Adrianna Sori Webb, she is almost 1 year now and walking and is crazy like her momma but in a good way! I feel so fullfilled being a mother and it takes up alot of my time but I dont feel like I'm missing too much I miss all my friends so much and I wish I could see them as much as I used to but time will come for that, and I know we are all living our own lives in the mean time! As well as having a baby I have also met the man I am going to Marry... We met in october of 06' and cant wait to get married. He is the man I always invisioned, and more! I have since moved on from Kiddie Kandids and am now employed at a Pharmacy, Superior Care as a Medical Records assistant, its hard work starting from scratch but its alot of fun and ALOT of benifits: NO MORE WEEKENDS!!!! Things have made a huge turn out for me, I feel like a woman now instead of a girl lost and wandering and its amazing!! I cant wait to share my all but boring life with everyone!! Stay turned!!